Discovering that a loved one is suffering from a terminal illness triggers feelings of anger, grief, and helplessness.
Whether you are a caregiver for that person or are dealing with the idea of their loss, the mental and emotional strain is overwhelming. To help cope with your stress, counseling can provide a safe place to discuss your grief and develop coping skills.
Also known as end-of-life counseling, here we explain how counseling offers practical strategies to help gain strength during this difficult time.
Information About the Illness
It helps to understand the illness and how it will impact your loved one.
This allows you to prepare for the inevitable stages of an irreversible disease. Often, grief counseling relies on a team of support workers, each with different roles. In this case, a doctor or nurse interpreting the prognosis and explaining what you can do to help can make you feel more involved or even in control of the situation. It also removes unrealistic hopes that your loved one will get better.
By setting expectations, you won’t be taken off guard by the appearance, abilities, or debilitation of your loved one.
Overcoming Disbelief and Denial
It is common to face the news of terminal illness with disbelief or denial.
However, you can deal with denial and learn to accept the terminal prognosis through counseling. This will spare you from seeking “miracle” cures or clinging to the chance that your loved one will somehow “pull through.”
Acceptance is an essential step in the grieving process. It also teaches you how to avoid using language that offers false hope or misleads the individual about the expected results of their treatment.
Learning What Steps Are Required
Learning what steps are required can help you regain a sense of control over the situation.
For example, helping your loved one manage their affairs, put their finances and will in order, and having a say in their celebration of life/funeral arrangements all help you feel useful and involved in the decisions. If this is not possible because the illness impacts the individual’s cognitive abilities, working with your family to discuss the steps and make plans together can help the grieving process.
End-of-Life Decisions
Encouraging your loved one to pursue painful or debilitating treatments so they can live a little longer interferes with their quality of life during their final weeks, months, or days.
Counseling teaches you that the main thing that counts when coping with a terminal illness is the individual’s wishes. If they opt for a do not resuscitate option, decide to donate their organs, or refuse treatment that will make them feel worse, you need to be mentally prepared to accept their wishes. Getting angry or making the individual feel guilty for not trying every possible treatment is upsetting to the person going through the illness.
Your job is to support them and help meet their wishes. For example, some individuals might have several months to live and decide to travel to Europe before they die. Although this reduces the time spent with you, as a “dying wish,” it is essential to support them if they are still well enough to travel. In addition, counseling improves lines of communication, so conversations are respectful and don’t put undue stress or pressure on your loved one during their final days.
Family Disagreements
Having family sessions helps you all cope with your feelings and understand that we all grieve differently.
For example, you might be angry that someone isn’t crying or seems in good spirits compared to your emotions. Through family counseling, you can learn to help each other through this challenging time and avoid saying or doing something that could irreparably impact your relationships.
Reminiscence Therapy
When death is inevitable, sharing memories with loved ones can be invaluable therapy for family and friends.
Instead of dwelling on death, looking back on fond memories, sharing more information about the family heritage, and asking questions helps bring you closer together. Counselors can assist with reminiscence therapy, providing the best way to share memories without putting undue pressure or sadness on the family or the person who is terminally ill.
For example, the individual might want to record messages to share with specific people after their death. You could also record audio memories when creating a family history. Others enjoy putting together a scrapbook, learning how to make traditional family recipes, or reading old letters.
Death and grief are personal experiences made easier with the help of a counselor. Whether for group counseling or yourself, counseling provides a safe place to express your feelings and learn coping skills to deal with loss.
The Chicago Mind Solutions Difference
Chicago Mind Solutions works with individuals, offering neuropsychological testing and non-invasive treatment for many mental health conditions. For more information about our treatments and teletherapy options, please contact us at (224) 723-5050 or email info@chicagomindsolutions.com.
