The idea of someone we love wanting to end their life is a terrible scenario we hope we never have to face.
However, all of us should understand how to be supportive when a friend is clearly in emotional pain. It begins in the early stages when we can talk to them about their troubles so they never reach a point of crisis.
In today’s blog post, we offer tips to provide support and help a friend who is suicidal. It’s important to note that only a behavioral health professional can provide treatment.
Listen and Be Compassionate
Sometimes it is easy to lose patience with a friend who is constantly dark and speaking of suicide.
However, it is important to take these conversations seriously and understand your friend is suffering. The most important thing is to listen to what they are saying and remain empathetic and compassionate. For example, be sure to tell them how sorry you are that they are going through this, instead of saying off-handed things such as “oh life isn’t so bad.”
Offer to come over to support them, instead of simply asking if there is anything you can do. Tell them you love them and can’t imagine a world without them instead of saying something like “you don’t really want to die.”
Share happy memories with them to remind them of the important role they play in your life rather than telling them they have so much to live for, or they have their whole life ahead of them. This undermines their pain, while also recalling the hopeless future they feel they are facing. Never brush their pain off with callous comments such as “tell me about it” or “join the club, everyone’s got problems.”
Focus on validating their pain.
Ask Questions to Determine the Level of Risk
It can be scary to ask questions when you don’t want to hear the answers.
Ask if they have thought about hurting themselves or dying. You might even ask if they feel everyone would be better off with them gone. If they say yes to these types of questions, keep the conversation going to determine how far their thoughts have taken them.
For example, do they think about it often? Do they have a plan? Do they consider how they would carry out the plan? Have they bought medication for an overdose, or chosen a place to jump to their death? These are terrifying scenarios, but they help establish the severity of their state of mind.
Seek Help
Whether your friend has thoughts of suicide or has developed a plan, now is the time to act.
It could be they have chosen you as their first point of contact when trying to get help. Ask if they have spoken to anyone about their depression such as their family doctor. If not, encourage them to see a therapist and offer to help them find one. They might not have the strength or peace of mind to cope with finding the help they need.
Check in with them often so you can look for signs their depression and thoughts of suicide are escalating. If you sense they are in crisis, encourage them to reach out to the Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255 or text “HOME” to 741741. If they refuse, bring them to the local emergency department. If they stop answering your calls or texts, or it is clear they need help immediately, do not hesitate to call 9-1-1.
Again, we stress that these are the steps you can do as a friend, but only a behavioral health or medical professional can triage and treat someone who is suicidal.
The Chicago Mind Solutions Difference
Chicago Mind Solutions works with individuals, offering neuropsychological testing and non-invasive treatment for many mental health conditions. For more information about our treatments and teletherapy options, please contact us at (224) 723-5050 or email info@chicagomindsolutions.com.
